my true motivation

my true motivation is waking up and realizing that god has given my another chance to better myself after trying to commit suicide and was unsuccessful,i thought i was once in love but it only turned out to be lust which lead to abuse,both physical and emotional.In order for me to get rid of the darkness in my life i had to leave everything and everyone who cared so i was homeless for 2 years,sleeping where i wouldn't get arrested and when i was really low on money,i sometimes resorted to prostitution..i was sick of who i had became and decided it was time for a change.i sat on a cliff and prayed if there is any reason for me to stay on this earth lord please send me a sign.i then received a call from my little brother whom i haven't heard from in 2 years saying he missed me and wanted to hang out.then i checked all my social network accounts and only one person filled up my account inbox and his name was Lorenza Harrison Jr..that man alone has changed my life in more than one way.after i replied to his emails we talked for almost 6 months over the computer and trouble on my end found me once again,i ended up in jail for 2 days behind my own negligence.Being with technology i was not able to talk to my new found friend and put myself under the impression he would not want to have anything to do with me anymore.so i stopped responding to his emails for 3 months.He never stopped sending messages because he "started to get worried about me".I gave up on my own ignorance and let him know what my situation was being homeless and not thinking i was worthy of someone like him talking to me;i continued to tell him about my past and surprisingly he never judged me,he just listened.I honestly did not know how to react to that but part of me kind of liked it.we finally agreed to meet each other after my 3 month hiatus and once i laid eyes on him something inside me told me he was the one..i didn't believe it but he was.we not only had a friendship we had a relationship and it was about ot get stronger.A year later we found out we were expecting our first child.my biggest fear of letting him know i was expecting was him rejecting me but he was more elated than i was,then on September 19th at 2 am we welcomed our first little bundle of joy kamaiah P Harrison. She looked just like her father and i then felt a warmth over me i had never felt before, it was the feeling of completion. i was officially a mother and i had the most beautiful proof right there in my arms;my daughter is a ball of energy and is very intelligent. my life continued to get better because i went back to school with the help of tank to obtain my medical assistants certification and a few months later to welcome another bundle of joy,who took us by surprise,in more than one way..lol on his father's birthday may 28th 2010 we welcomed Kristian J Harrison,who was a preemie and to see him now you would have never believed it..lol..so to start the story of my true motivation i had to give you my past and the reason i keep moving forward..thanks to Lorenza "tank" Harrison Jr,kamaiah P Harrison, and Kristian J Harrison for being my true motivation..i love yall with every fiber of my being.